My first memory of psoriasis was aged 11. I had been allowed to have a day off from school to go to Alton Towers theme park. I remember sitting in the passenger seat in a queue waiting to get in. I was fiddling with my hair and brushed a section of skin behind my ear. Feeling a scab I began to pick it and it started to bleed. I couldn't remember anything happening to cause a scab so put it to the back of my mind and enjoyed my day.
Some months after, I moved quite a way from home to live with my dad. It had been a stressful time - starting a new school, trying to make new friends and moving 200 miles from my mum. The psoriasis began in small patches at first on my scalp. It looked like I had terrible dandruff but washing my hair everyday in the disgusting smelling Polytar shampoo helped so it wasn't sore. I hated that stuff. I used to complain that I smelled like a road! I saw a dermatologist briefly but it was considered very mild and could be managed by my GP.
By the time I was about 14, the psoriasis had spread a little. The majority of the scales were on my back and my tummy and rarely proved a problem. I managed the condition with small amounts of emollient creams. Holidays abroad would make the psoriasis almost dissolve. It would leave me with small white flower-looking marks but the skin would be lovely and smooth. I changed in the toilets for PE so that I didn't have to feel embarrassed but other than that it didn't hinder my experience of the teenage years.
I can't remember when it all changed. One minute it was small plaques only about 5mm across and the next I had patches all over my body. It is likely that it was after the breakdown of a fairly serious relationship when I was 20. A 3 week trip to Sri Lanka cleared it up but within months it was back with a vengeance.
I met Luke, my fiancé, several months later in July 2004. He instantly made me feel at ease and I never felt embarrassed with him. He accepted me for who I was - psoriasis and all. He would sit there for hours picking the big plaques for me so that it wasn't so uncomfortable. Looking back, I can't believe I let him do that but it was so refreshing and offered me a great relief. In March 2005, I found out I was pregnant. I am not sure if it was the hormones or what but my psoriasis seemed to clear slightly. I would get the usual questions from midwives and doctors about the psoriasis - did it hurt, did anything irritate it, was I taking anything for it but it did not create any problems. I had a bit of a flare up after pregnancy. Shortly after having my first born, Jacob, I caught pregnant again and the psoriasis lessened. Amelia was born in September 2006 and it was then that the psoriasis really took over my life. I was covered from head to toe and in constant agony. I was referred to a dermatologist who agreed for me having light therapy. I had 4 treatments and after each one my skin was excruciatingly painful. I would sit in a bath with 50/50 liquid paraffin and a loofah scrubbing my skin until it was red raw. Our house was constantly peppered with dead skin and it was a nightmare trying to keep on top of it. I was so disappointed but with 2 small children to look after, I couldn't commit to the treatment and didn't return.
I started working in January 2008 and began the light treatment again. This time, I managed 5 sessions but again it was so painful I couldn't keep it up. Instead, I would just grin and bear it. I would wear awful clothes to hide my skin and on really bad days would have to sit on the edge of my seat all day because the back of my legs would be sore and bleeding. After 2 years, I visited my GP to discuss other options. She suggested seeing my dermatologist again to see if I would be considered for immune-suppressive drugs but she explained that I would not be able to conceive whilst on them or for a while afterwards so if I wanted more children, it would be worth considering it sooner rather than later. Luke and I had a long discussion about it and in February 2011, I had my coil removed and we began trying for our third and final child. 4 weeks later I visited my doctor who confirmed that I was pregnant. The psoriasis improved slightly but patches on my tummy cracked and bled as it expanded. Logan was born in November. My doctor immediately referred me to the dermatologist and in March 2012, after a long and thorough consultation, I started Cyclosporine. My consultant suggested being sterilised to minimise the chance of falling pregnant but my GP said that as I had had another Mirena coil fitted, I would be fine. 4 weeks in to the medication and I really started to notice an improvement. By July 2012, I was all but clear. It was the first summer in years that I was able to wear no sleeves. My legs were still covered but the plaques were smoother and a lot more comfortable.
In July 2013, shortly after my 30th birthday, Luke and I moved to Cornwall. I registered with a GP and asked to be referred to a dermatologist down here so that I could manage my cyclosporine and the routine bloods properly. At the appointment with my consultant, it was decided that I could no longer be on cyclosporine as I had already been on it longer than I should have been and that I should now try Methotrexate and that is where my battle began...
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